Courtship and the Internet

My feelings aside, there is a big world out there with many online matchmaking opportunities, but there is also a lot of room for error. Below, I will point out the stigmas associated with each of the major dating sites (or at least how they are portrayed to me through my clients and the media). Then, I will give out a few of my favorite tips and tricks to make your experience the best it can be.

eHarmony
This is the mother ship of dating sites, for those looking to remedy that empty finger on their left hand. This site actually does the searching for you – it involves more money, but also less profile reading.

Chemistry
This site also does the searching for you, but there is not as much of a sprint to monogamy as there is with eHarmony.

Match
This is for those less antsy, but serious about meeting up with other daters.

Plenty Of Fish
Considering this site is free, there is quite a mishmash of intentions.

True
If you are nervous about jumping into online dating, True is the only site that does criminal and marital background checks to ease your nerves and ensure that you are getting what you order.

Okcupid
I call this site the starter drug. It is for those that aren’t desperately seeking, but wouldn’t mind being in a relationship if something worked out.

SpeedDate
Chat Roulette meets online dating.

Tips & Tricks
Make sure you are on the right site. If the one you are on isn't getting you the results you want, switch it up. Different people are drawn to different sites. Check them all out again and make sure that your expectations and demographic fit with the site you are on.

Get your expectations in check. Don’t get ahead of yourself when going on dates. Don’t invest too much off the bat or invest yourself fully in online dating. If you really want to meet someone, you have to do some face time too.

Get an editor. Have your best friend of the opposite sex to read over your profile and make sure that they think it best represents you. Sometimes we may be overly confident about some things and too modest about others. Also, if you are having a hard time picking a photo, ask a friend to go through some of your pictures and pick the one they think looks the most like you on a daily basis.

Jump in...slowly. If you are meeting someone for the first time, coffee dates are always your best bet. It is a quick and painless way to meet and converse with the person without any long-term conversation or pressure. Also, taking out the alcohol can ensure you really get to know the person and feel comfortable with them before going on a "date" date.

Always be careful! Do a quick Google check to make sure your date is who he/she says s/he is. Also, for women, I always recommend shooting an email or text to a friend or co-worker letting them know where you will be and who you are with and texting them again once you are home safe.

Social Media
It seems to me that we have become a generation completely dependent on social media – but are we really using it to our advantage? In friendships, maybe. But what about our love lives? Ironically enough, social media is what led me to a boyfriend in 2009. Let me explain.

Out with colleagues one evening, I was introduced to someone but wasn't given an opportunity to get to know him very well. A week later, his name popped up as a recommended friend on Facebook because of our mutual connections. A click on his profile link led me to a link to his blog, and two hours of reading later, I knew I must put myself on a limb and contact this humorous and handsome recommended friend named Zach, whom I dated for almost 6 months. Now, I do not expect everyone to be as lucky as myself to have Facebook as a matchmaker, but why not use all these new modern technologies to your advantage?

You may think dating sites are the only means to date online- here are some other social media applications that could lead you to "The One."

Twitter
Although it may take longer to establish relationships than it might with other social applications, Twitter has a few shortcuts. There are many tools available to find local users with similar interests, or you could attend a Tweetup.

Meetup
This is an internet- based Web site that helps you find others with similar interests. Each user has a picture and profile, much like a social media application. They pretty much have a group for everything, and if they don’t, go ahead and make one! This site is particularly nice because it welcomes making new connections based on like-mindedness – having a common hobby is a great starting off point for romance.

Yelp
A habitual destination of mine, Yelp allows you to read and write reviews of local businesses and services and even attend meetings with other yelp addicts. The comments and reviews also help to forge relationships with others. After using this site for over a year, I am convinced that it is the eHarmony of foodies.

Loopt
Based on a smart phone app that was originally developed to help you keep track of your friends, Loopt now offers Loopt Mix, where you can initiate chat with other users in your general area. A great application for the more outgoing daters, it is also helpful if you just moved and are in a new office building or residence.

Facebook
At this point, everyone from your grandmother to your 12-year-old niece probably has a Facebook account, making it the perfect way to find old flames or friends from the past. Also try looking through your recommended friends. It couldn’t hurt!

FourSquare
FourSquare is a location-based virtual game and social networking app in one. The purpose is to link people by checking in at your locations throughout the day in order to build points, unlock badges and gain titles. It even works with your existing connections on Facebook and Twitter to build your network.

Tribe
An online network for the independent thinker, Tribe originated as a forum for people looking for a sense of community and building connections based on similar ideas and ideals.

Blogs
Don't rule out your favorite blogs. Becoming a regular commenter on a local blog builds relationships quite quickly. Whatever your interest – even sports– you can find a blog for local people like you.

If you are looking for love, but haven't quite leapt into the world of online dating, these Web sites and applications are a great way to proactively use technology to your advantage.

Authored by Loxie Gant

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