The Best Version of You

As a dating coach, my motto is "helping you find the best version of you". Most dating coaches profess the ability to help you find the best person for you, but my philosophy is that you need to be the best version of you to find the best person for you. Most people go through their single lives projecting that they want this ultimate person, “the whole package,” when they themselves aren't the whole package yet. I say "yet" because this of course is something fixable. That is where I come in.

Now, there are 2 stages of people. Let's start with diagnosing Stage 1.

Stage 1
When you first read the quote at the beginning of this lesson, did you scoff that it has nothing to do with being in a relationship? Confidence and passion make it much easier to date, love, and be loved. Think of yourself like a salesman, it’s much easier to sell something you have faith in. Do you think of yourself as a "catch"? Or do you doubt the fact that there is someone out there that will love you? If it’s the latter, skip to the Assignment.

Stage 2
If you are confident in the fact that you are truly the best version of you, I still encourage you to read the Assignment. We are all constantly evolving and should always be willing to improve ourselves. But, on that note, feel free to move forward to the next lesson.

Assignment: "Me List"
Although the title is self explanatory, let me explain. A "Me List" is a modified definition of who you are by listing all the things that make you who you are. As I always recommend, it should be handwritten. (I find the tangible and handwritten words make it authentic and personal, and there's no backspace!)

What to write: things you love to do, things to wish you had more time to do, things that are important to you, etc. Just the act of writing these things down is therapy in and of itself. But there is still further action to take. Hang this list somewhere you will see it every day. Maybe inside your medicine cabinet, on your mirror or taped to the bed-side of your nightstand. I actually have my "Me List" as the cover of my writers journal. It is important to see it every day because you want to make sure you are living up to your full "Me".

When I am going through a hard time (i.e. a breakup, minor identity crisis, major identity crisis. or just feeling a little lost), I actually put my "Me List" to work. I will write out my calendar for the week and schedule in as many items from my list as possible. I make sure that in that week, I live up to my full potential. Doing this each and every week would be ideal, but is sometimes unrealistic. Try doing this for just a week. I promise you will find results in overall happiness and quality of life, as well as self-image improvement. It works.

Therapy
Sometimes the problems are bigger than you can handle yourself. If there is potentially a reason from your past or present that may be affecting you to the point that you are having trouble finding a healthy relationship or partner, you should consider going to a mental health professional. There is no shame in this. Sometimes our problems are bigger than we can handle or could take years to solve if left to our own devices. Therapy can help you deal with things in a very time effective way. Most health insurance provides coverage for mental health professionals, take advantage of it! If you don't have health insurance or the money to see a therapist, colleges and universities offer discounted or free services with pre-credentialed graduate students.

Authored by Loxie Gant

Comments