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Long Distance Relationship

asked in Relationship Advice by:
Heartbroken (18 - 24 yrs) - January 31, 2010
Me & my bf have an absolutely great relationship. He's basically my male counterpart, and we absolutely DONT fight. He's the type of person I could see in some distant future actually building a life with. We're best friends and deeply in love, but he's going to college next year, a couple states away. Should we try??
Answers
Dave (30 - 34 yrs) - January 31, 2010
No need to be heartbroken yet, he doesn't leave until the fall and a breakup isn't inevitable. It's true that few high school relationships survive when one of you heads off to college, but it sounds like you two have a pretty good thing going. If you're only a year behind and will be joining him at school then of course there's a chance. You'll have to make an effort to stay up on what he's doing and see him often without suffocating him. But also realize that college is an exciting new experience and he'll be adjusting to life away from home, meeting all kinds of different people and making friends, so don't expect him to have the kind of time you do to email and talk on the phone.

To answer your original question, if you love each other then yes, you should try.

Dave (35 - 39 yrs) - August 25, 2010
I'm not just a regular, I run the site! :)

Perseverance is great in most areas of life, but not so much when someone has broken up with you. I've been on the other side of this and when a girl that I've broken it off with tries to keep talking to me and getting back together not only does it not make me want to try again, it actually makes me feel pressured and drives me further away. The best you can do is give him his space and if he misses you he'll come back, if not, well that's life.

Feel free to keep in touch as long as he's the one initiating most of the calls or emails. You might meet up and spend time together during the holidays or next summer, which happens a lot, or get back together when you're going to school near him in a few years, or this might be it.

It's tough but having gone through this with my high school girlfriend, I'm guessing your relationship won't return to what it was. Treat it like it's over and enjoy your life, then what happens in the future happens.

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