Having Trouble Trusting my Boyfriend
asked in Relationship Advice by:
JM (25 - 29 yrs) - May 11, 2010
My boyfriend got together with another girl a few months ago when he was at a party. He says they only kissed but I broke up with him anyway. I took him back a few weeks later because we've been together for 2 years and have had so many good times. The problem is I still can't trust him now and find myself skeptical when he tells me about spending time with friends or when I'm not around. Can I get the trust back?
Answers
Dave (35 - 39 yrs) - May 12, 2010
I've never had anyone cheat on me before (not that I know of) but I've had so-called friends pull some things that kill the trust. To be honest I don't think you ever quite see a person the same way after they've really worked you over. I'm guessing this skepticism of your will fade in time but I wouldn't expect things to go back to the way they were. Sorry.
Kel (35 - 39 yrs) - June 2, 2010
Did he tell you about the kiss or did you hear about from someone else? I have never been cheated on -that I know of as well, but after I left my hsuband and a relationship of 12 years, that he did try to hjave an affair with someone and she turned him down becasue he was married with kids.If I were still with him, theres no way I could trust him again.
If he came to you and told you, I think that gves you a better barometer of the guilt factor and his honesty. Although he may have been telling you because of that guilt to make himself feel better. he put you in a position you shouldnt have to be in.
Give it time, and see what you head tells you. He may prove to you over that time he was a slip-up and knows you will leave him for good if it happens again. Good luck, It is hard when someone we love and trust breaks that trust. Its like they stole a piece of you and you cant get it back until they make it right again.
Rebecca (18 - 24 yrs) - July 6, 2010
I cheated on my boyfriend of two years, we still talked but he said he didnt think he could trust me again. We still talked and we planned on getting back together. I brought my best friend and him to the ocean with me. After the trip I found out my best friend and him slept with each other when I was out getting food. I was heart broken especially because he was always the honest one. Now we both want to be with each other, but its the truth thing that is killing us. Honestly, I wonder if it will ever get back to normal, but if you really want to be with him like I really want to be with my ex you have to trust yourself more than anything. Trust that you are making the right decision because if you think you are the trust will come back in time. I cheated on him and I know I would never do that again, so even though its not likely people change you can tell by how sorry they are. And if he was really sorry than I bet he wont do it again.
